| dude i haven't xanga'd in forever. i just wanted you all to listen to my song that i put on my xanga, it is also on my myspace. it is just about the greatest violin concerto ever and it belongs to beethoven. gosh...what a gangsta. |
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| - concerto no. 3, first movementi haven't written in this in a little while, but i need somewhere to release all this stuff, and hey, XANGA is here so why not use it?
My violin final (jury) is next week on thursday. I'm freaking scared of it, to the point of crying. I feel like i have so much riding on this jury. In my jury i have to start off with the scale, then arppegios, then etude, then my piece. I'm terrified of my scale and arpeggios. And i'm even more scared of them because i have to play them first. The teachers listening to me, and grading me on my jury are going to hear that first and automatically make an impression of me. My etude and piece are good, some may say really good, but i want them to be perfect. And no matter how much I practice my arpeggios they still aren't up to par, or good enough for me to play them in a jury. the sad thing is, i've been working on this scale the whole fucking semester...D flat major, or as i call it the death flat major scale. my arpeggios aren't consistent...AT ALL. i'll practice them and they will be awesome, then i'll pick up my violin hours later in the day and its like my fingers and hand have amnesia or something and they don't remeber where to go. And it isn't like i haven't practiced them, maybe i'm practicing them wrong...but gosh damn...fuck...i'm so angry. I've cried so many times over this...and ahhhh! and i'm absoulutely terrified of going into my jury and letting everyone, especially my teacher down. my teacher says that because of my last jury a lot of the teachers are looking forward to hearing me play...this just scares me even more. i don't know what to do...they all expect me to do well, but when if i don't meet their expectations?? and my cadenza, at the end of my piece...i'm playing mozart. the cadenza is just this virtuostic little piece of music...gosh damn...i haven't even had a lesson on it yet. I've never played a cadenza before, and for my first one i just want to own it, but i don't. i mean, its in my fingers, but it can be soooo much better. i want to play it in my jury and just make the people watching me have an orgasm or something because it was so good. i'm angry about this too...i dunno. I have to practice soooo much stuff.
*sigh*...i don't think i've ever been this stressed out before.
in my chamber class, my group was working on a dvorak piece, but after working on it for half the semester we were told that we can't play it, so we played a rossini piece instead...what a waist of my time...all that practicing for nothing? i really liked the dvorak too. i guess what's good about it is that we got chosen to play in the formal concert. the conductor came up to me after the performance and said that my solo was beautiful...i was angry when he said this because he was the one who said we couldn't play the dvorak. anywho...i hope that i perform well in my jury. wish me luck everyone. i will for sure need it.
I'M PLAYING MY JURY AT FREAKING 8:50 IN THE MORNING!! THAT IS JUST INSANE!! I HAVE TO START WAKING UP AT 5:00AM EVERY DAY NOW JUST SO I CAN GET USED TO PLAYING THAT EARLY IN THE MORNING AND MAKE SURE MY HANDS ARE WARMED UP.
AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
thanks for reading this! |
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| Have fun in Berkely Alex. I'll miss you! you are the bestest special man friend ever!!
Bellis '05...great stuff man. Best one so far. |
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i put in my two weeks notice at old navy. i got a job on campus in long beach.
i'm going to bellis music camp on the 15-21 of aug. send me letters and i will love you for at least a week.
Rebekah Lopez
Bellis Music Camp
c/o Camp Eaton
Star Route HC-01 Box 21
La Canada-Flintridge
CA 91011-9707
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| okay i just had my violin lesson and my teacher told me that one of the parents of her students is in the la phill and he went up to her after the recital i had like two weeks ago and commented only on my performance out of all her students and said "the girl who played the sicilienne has very beautiful vibrato and has a very very beautiful sound"
woo woo!!!
she also said for my audition for orchestra i'm gonna play the mendelssohn and sound like jascha heifetz. yeah yeah!! |
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